What I Wish I Knew at 20: A Letter to My Younger Self

As I reflect on my journey through life, there are few lessons I've learned along the way—some through triumphs and many, many more through mistakes.

If I could go back in time and sit down with my 20-year-old self, I'd have a bit of advice to share.

The thoughts below are born from my experiences, mostly hard-won. They are the guideposts I wish I had known earlier, the principles that could have smoothed my path and boosted my confidence.

I stick to some of these rules like glue, work hard to follow others, need regular reminders for a few, and still struggle with some to this day. I believe, they all bring value to my life.

Personal Fulfilment

Find Your Passion, Go for It, and Embrace the Obsession

Passion often comes with a touch of obsession. It's that burning drive that keeps you up at night, fuels your dreams, and pushes you to go the extra mile. Sure, some might see it as a little crazy, but that's okay.

When you're truly passionate about something, you're willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen. So, don't be afraid to dive headfirst into your passions, even if it means people might think you're a little bit nuts. That's just part of the journey.

Figure out what excites you and pursue it relentlessly. Find someone or a company excelling in that field and work with them, even if it’s just as a volunteer. Use your summer breaks to get hands-on experience—it’s super valuable. Start with the simple stuff and always look for ways to do more.

Your hard work and dedication will open doors.

Remember, no one will trust you with bigger tasks unless you nail the simple ones first. Impress them, and you might land a side gig, a job, or a valuable connection.

Choose the right person or company carefully—this is critical.

Invest Time and Effort in Self-Discovery

Take some time to really figure out who you are—what gets you going and why you react the way you do to stuff. It's not simple; it takes a lot of self-awareness. But if you commit to this, you can get better at understanding yourself over time.

Exploring your own mind is like going on a journey of self-discovery. It's about knowing your strengths, weaknesses, passions, and what sets you off.

When you get clarity on these things, you can handle life with more confidence and purpose.

Yes, it's tough and won't happen overnight. But the more you dig into understanding yourself, the more you'll grow and change. And that's a journey worth taking if you ask me.

Keep Your Promises to Yourself

It's time to stop breaking promises you've made to yourself. Your self-respect should come first.

When you break promises to yourself, you're basically letting yourself down and compromising your integrity. It's like saying your dreams and goals aren't important enough.

You owe it to yourself to stick to the commitments you make. Whether it's hitting the gym regularly, pursuing a hobby you love, or setting boundaries in your relationships, honoring your promises to yourself is crucial for building self-respect.

It's not always easy—we're all human and slip up now and then. But that doesn't mean you should give in. Learn from your slip-ups, recommit to your promises, and keep moving forward.

Every time you keep a promise to yourself, you're reinforcing your self-respect and boosting your sense of self-worth.

Stay True to Your Goals Despite Peer Pressure

Going after your ambitions might make you stand out from your friends. It's natural to want to fit in, but sticking to your goals is key. Success, whatever that means to you, often involves standing out and going against the norm.

When you pursue your goals, you might feel like you don't quite fit in with your peers. Group mentality can be challenging to break away from.

Showing that things can be done better, faster, or smarter can make others uncomfortable—similar to how the brainy kid in class might get teased, these dynamics can carry into adulthood.

It's tough to go against the group, but ask yourself: would you rather hold back to fit in, or push yourself to excel and improve your life? Will those who discourage you now support your dreams later?

Instead of just focusing on where you want to be next year or in five years, think about what you want to avoid for yourself and your family in the future.

Sometimes, understanding what to steer clear of is as crucial as setting positive goals. Reflect on the changes you want and the pitfalls you want to dodge.

Prioritize Your Health

Your body and mind are your most valuable assets. Regular exercise, building good, long lasting eating habits and mental health practices are very important.

Personal and Professional Growth

Build Your Network Early

Think of it this way: every person you meet, whether they're a classmate, coworker, or someone you chat with at a random event, could become really important in your life later on.

It's like planting seeds; you never know which ones will grow into something amazing.

Take John, for example. Right now, he's just the guy sitting behind you in class. But who knows? In a few decades, he could be running a big company or sitting across from you in a job interview for your dream job.

That's the beauty of networking—it's about making connections early and seeing where they lead. I regret not starting this sooner and trying to do everything on my own.

So, don't hesitate to reach out and get to know people from all walks of life. You never know how they might help you in the future or how you could help them.

It's all about forming those relationships and keeping your options open for whatever comes next.

Choose Your Influences Wisely

They say you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

I think that's still true, but today, thanks to the internet and social media, you can learn from some of the brightest minds out there. Just be mindful of what you're taking in.

The people you surround yourself with, whether offline or online, influence your vibe and your perspective on life.

Online platforms like YouTube give you access to a wealth of voices and ideas. But just like choosing your friends in real life, you've got to be selective about who you allow into your online circle.

Sure, there's plenty of amazing content—inspiring talks, helpful tutorials, you name it. But there's also a lot of noise and negativity. So, as you browse, make sure you're feeding your mind with the good stuff and not getting caught up in the nonsense.

Value Connections with People

Building meaningful connections with people is all about enriching your life and theirs. When you prioritize forming strong relationships, you're investing in something priceless—human connection.

Think about it: every genuine interaction, every moment where you lend a hand or show kindness, adds depth and meaning to your own journey. It's not just about what you can get out of it, but how you can make someone else's day better.

By focusing on how you can bring value to others' lives, you naturally create a ripple effect of positivity.

Plus, these connections often become a source of support and encouragement during both good times and tough times. Whether it's friends, colleagues, or mentors, these relationships provide a sense of belonging and reinforce your sense of purpose.

In essence, valuing connections means appreciating the unique qualities of each person you interact with. It's about building empathy, understanding, and mutual respect.

As you invest in these relationships, you not only enhance your own life but also contribute to a sense of community.

The joy and fulfillment you find in these connections often go beyond material success, grounding you in what truly matters.

Principles of Growth

Embrace a Problem-Solving Mindset

Challenges aren't roadblocks; they're opportunities to flex your problem-solving muscles. Embracing them head-on not only toughens you up but also teaches you some seriously valuable lessons along the way.

I used to be all about smooth sailing, avoiding any bumps in the road. But you know what? It doesn't get you anywhere.

Now I try to see every problem as a chance to learn something new. Even if things don't go perfectly, the worst-case scenario is you walk away with a lesson learned and a mistake avoided next time around.

The people who really make waves in life are the problem-solvers. When you're the go-to person who can tackle any challenge, you become seriously valuable.

So, don't shy away from problems—embrace them, conquer them, and build up that track record of solving stuff.

More money and progress bring more problems, but that's a good thing—that's just how it goes. It's all part of the journey.

Stay Adaptable and Keep Learning

In today's fast-paced world, being adaptable and always learning aren't just good ideas—they're crucial for staying ahead and growing personally and professionally.

Imagine this: what was important yesterday might not matter tomorrow. By staying open to learning and embracing change, you're ready to tackle shifts in your field or industry. This approach not only helps you stay competitive but also lets you grab new opportunities when they come your way.

Learning doesn't have to mean sitting in a classroom. It can be as simple as exploring new interests or chatting with people who see things differently. Hearing diverse viewpoints expands your horizons and makes you better at solving problems.

And adapting? It's about seeing challenges as chances to grow, not roadblocks. It means taking smart risks and learning from what works—and what doesn't. This flexible mindset is super valuable in today's job market and sets you up for a satisfying, evolving career.

In the end, staying adaptable and always learning isn't just about your job—it's about growing as a person and being ready for whatever comes next.

Commit to Continuous Improvement

You always need a goal and a next goal lined up after you reach the current one. The journey to achieve your goals is the exciting part. Once you hit a goal, it can feel a bit flat, and it's easy to lose motivation. So, always have another goal ready to keep you moving forward.

Life's like a project that's always under construction. You start with the basics, laying down the foundation, and then you keep on building, always striving to make it better.

Starting with simple jobs and tasks is totally okay—we all have to begin somewhere. But you should never settle. Keep pushing yourself to level up, to grow, to become the best version of yourself you can be.

And here's why it matters: it's not just for your own benefit. Your loved ones are counting on you. They need your greatness, your skills, and your talents to shine through.

A great example that really resonates with me is Dave Brailsford and the British cycling team. Brailsford became the Performance Director of British Cycling in 2003 and introduced the concept of "marginal gains."

Instead of focusing on one big change, Brailsford and his team looked for small improvements in every aspect of cycling.

This ranged from the obvious areas like nutrition, training programs, and bike ergonomics, to the more unexpected aspects such as the best pillow for sleeping and the most effective way to wash hands.

By making these tiny improvements, which might seem unimportant on their own, the cumulative effect led to significant performance enhancements.

This approach turned the British cycling team into a dominant force in the sport, winning multiple Olympic gold medals and Tour de France titles.

Brailsford's philosophy of relentless, incremental improvement underscores the power of continuous improvement, demonstrating that even the smallest changes can lead to remarkable results.

So, take a page out of their book. Commit to getting a little better each day, and watch how those tiny improvements add up to something truly amazing.

Life's a journey, and the thrill comes from the pursuit of excellence, not just reaching the destination. Keep aiming higher, keep growing, and enjoy every step of the way.

Reflect on and Appreciate Your Progress

Reflecting on and appreciating your progress isn't just about giving yourself a pat on the back—it's about boosting your motivation, building confidence, and growing personally.

Firstly, taking a moment to recognize how far you've come boosts your self-esteem and reinforces your belief in your abilities.

Whether it's finishing a tough project, learning something new, or overcoming a challenge, each accomplishment is a step forward on your journey.

Essentials

Take advantage of the “good days”

We all have good days when we are full of energy and motivation and the bad ones when everything feels like a struggle.

Life's a lot like riding waves. Sometimes you’re on a wave up. Other times, you're dipping down at full speed, feeling like you're not in control.

And then there are those moments when you're completely submerged, feeling like you're drowning, like you'll never come up for air again. But here's the thing: just like waves, life moves in cycles. After every low tide comes the high tide.

Recognizing these cycles is key. When you're riding high, make the most of it, and when you hit a rough patch, hang in there knowing that brighter days are ahead.

It's all part of the journey, and learning to navigate these cycles helps you grow stronger and more resilient along the way.

Be Punctual

Being on time means being ready before the scheduled time. This habit shows respect and reliability. It’s so often overlooked, especially in highly stressful and vastly paced environments.

On time is already late. Being punctual is a simple yet powerful habit that can positively impact various aspects of your life.

Learn About Money Management

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And most importantly:

Persevere Through Adversity

It’s almost never as bad as you think it is- it’s how our brains work. Our brains aren't built for happiness; they're built for survival. We dwell too much on the past, worrying about futures that might never come.

Life loves throwing surprises when you least expect it. Whether it's loss, money troubles, or heartbreak, tough times are just part of the ride.

But here's the deal: pain happens, but suffering is optional. It's all about how you handle those bumps that shows who you really are. Give yourself time to heal, learn, and grow from it all.

Sure, setbacks can knock you down, but they don't have to define you. Time heals—each day makes you stronger and tougher. So, when life throws you a curveball, don't stay down. Take it on, keep pushing through, and come out even stronger on the other side.

And remember—stand tall, shoulders back, head held high, and believe in yourself, even when others don't.

Their opinions don't shape who you are—you do.

Summary

In the end, the advice I'd give my 20-year-old self isn't about avoiding mistakes but embracing the journey with all its twists and turns.

It's about pursuing your goals, understanding yourself and honoring your commitments. It's about nurturing your health, building a strong network, and continuously learning and growing.

Remember, life's challenges are opportunities for growth, and your resilience will see you through the toughest times. Cherish your progress, leverage your good days, stay punctual, manage your finances wisely, and most importantly, persevere.

If you live in the past, you will most likely end up depressed.

If you live in the future, you will most likely end up anxious.

Yesterday does not matter, tomorrow never comes.

Today is what you need to focus all your energy on.